I should have been graduated by now.
I should be working a nice job, make a decent living wage, and be the proud owner of a bachelor’s degree in… something.
And that, ladies and gents, is where I am ruined.
Because I am 22 years old, and even though I have declared my major to my current university, I do not have a single fucking clue about what I want to do with my life.
To those who say, “Don’t worry. You’re young, you’ll figure it out.” MY BANK ACCOUNT CAN’T TAKE ANOTHER 238947325108337420 SEMESTERS.
(Props if you read that really big number that I made up by pushing a bunch of buttons on my keyboard.) Because, and let’s be real, college is far from being cheap and I sure as shit can’t afford to pay through school making only $9/hour. Keep in mind, I also have to make a monthly car payment, and owning a car means paying out the ass for car insurance. Oh, and I had to take out a bunch of credit cards to help me pay for books for these past however-many-god-awful-semesters-it’s-been-since-I-first-started-this-horrible-money-sucking-scheme. So, yeah. That math is not there and I am broke.
Don’t even get me started on the classes.
First, you have to take shit you don’t even care about- “Oh! But they make you a more well-rounded individual!”
NEWSFLASH: I don’t care about being a well-rounded individual. Let me use my money to explore the world, and then I will come back so well-rounded I’ll be my own planet
(or fat, because, you know, exotic food… food in general.)
Second, I DON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT THE CLASSES THAT PERTAIN TO MY MAJOR. Literally, I am learning nothing. Standardized tests are teaching me nothing. Reading from a textbook that cost me an arm and a leg is teaching me nothing. THEORIES DON’T HELP ME WITH JACK SHIT, okay, Professor? Give me real-world experience. Show me how the world works. Show me how to work.
I want to be working. I want to do something with my life. I’m tired of doing homework and working minimum wage jobs that don’t even let me survive on my own without calling my parents every other week asking for money to help me pay my bills. I’m struggling, and it scares me, and it hurts.
Am I crazy?
Maybe. It’s not like I can afford to get help or anything.